rexuality:

realistic captions for selfies:

• i took 34 photos and this one looks the least shitty
• i tried really hard to take this at an angle where my arm didn’t look weird
• i photoshopped a pimple out of this photo and used the smudge tool for like 8 minutes
• i wish i had friends who took cute pictures of me so i wouldn’t be alone in my room for an hour trying to do this shit
• this is the best photo i’ve ever taken please shower me with compliments

bestnatesmithever:

When I die, I want my ashes scattered across the Internet.

stillwatersofconsciousness:

radish is a really accurate name for a vegetable because they’re pretty cool but they’re not that cool

esexist:

yeah there are a lot of fish in the sea but how many have low standards